


all i want from you is a promise that you'll be there

by majesdane



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-09
Updated: 2009-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And it hurts, but that's what it all came down to in the end, making a choice, deciding who she loves more.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	all i want from you is a promise that you'll be there

  
You know I just wouldn't be human if I didn't try and hold your hand as it disintegrated from the light of a thousand suns somewhere above Hiroshima. Or kiss the tears from your cheeks in Iraq, like the sweat from your brow in Zimbabwe. It isn't in me not to try and lift the rubble crushing you in Gaza or hide you in Rwanda. Like a last hug in a building in New York or the water we shared in Afghanistan. More than the blood we mixed in Flanders or the sandy beach we trod in Normandy.

Longer than the fires burned in Dresden or Soweto. I won't let go of your hand.

\-- _pleasefindthis_

 

 

 

What she likes best is that it's all routine.

Every morning she wakes up to Naomi nuzzling her neck gently, an arm draped loosely around her waist, slender fingers brushing across her stomach. And Naomi always seems to know just when she's woken up, will smile and say something like hello or good morning or sorry, I didn't want to wake you or sometimes she'll forego words all together and just wait for Emily to turn in her arms and kiss her, which is still remarkable, even with morning breath.

And then Naomi will get up and make them coffee and Emily will doze in bed until Naomi crawls back in with her and reminds her she needs to get up for work, though usually they end up falling asleep again together until the alarm goes off at eight thirty and they actually do need to get up and dressed for the day.

Sometimes they shower together, but that's only when they have time to spare, because when Naomi kisses her under the steady stream of water, falling like rain all around them, Emily always melts into her, can never resist sliding a hand down between Naomi's legs until Naomi is panting and shaking and flushed in such a pretty pink way.

But usually Naomi makes them toast with jam in the kitchen while Emily showers, and when they remember to buy some, she makes eggs, and it's rather sweet, the way Naomi's become so very domestic like this, laying out breakfast and juice and coffee for her just as she comes into the kitchen, still drying her hair. And Naomi will smile and kiss her good morning, again, even though she still hasn't brushed her teeth yet, and Naomi will taste like coffee and sugar.

(Kissing Naomi still makes her want to swoon, even after all this time.)

And in the afternoons she'll come home from the publishing company she works for, which requires taking two separate buses to get to, and Naomi will be asleep on the couch with the telly on or with some sort of movie score playing softly on the stereo, and Emily will drop her bag and coat off by the door before kissing her lightly over and over until Naomi wakes with a smile, pushing back into the kiss.

I love you, Emily will yawn that evening, when they settle onto the couch again after dinner, and Naomi kisses the top of her head and turns on the telly and they can never settle on a programme, so they always end up skipping around until they find a movie, which they may or may not actually watch, depending on if they've made love already earlier that afternoon.

(If they have, they'll watch the movie in it's entirety, or at least whatever's left of it, and then go to bed, but if they haven't, then they'll end up giving up on the movie halfway through when one of them gets too restless, and sometimes they'll make love right there on the couch or on the floor or they'll actually take the time to move into the bedroom before Emily grins and straddles Naomi's hips, kissing her hungrily.)

It's the same every day, but that's how Emily likes it. It's routine. Stable, permanent. Naomi has always been the one constant, the only thing she has ever really been sure of.

It makes her smile, thinking about it, about how easily they fell into this life.

 

;;

 

They often go back to Bristol without telling anyone, usually to visit Naomi's mum, and sometimes to go back to the lake, because Naomi is surprisingly sentimental about these sort of things. The water never seems to be as cold as it was on that spring day went they first biked out there, but there's still that sharp rush of emotion that cuts across her heart, when Emily lies down on a blanket by the water, her hand settling on Naomi's.

And then Naomi rolls over, props herself up on her elbows and kisses Emily so softly that she feels like breaking, because it's too much, it's always too much with Naomi, even now. And she runs her fingers through Naomi's hair and kisses the space below her ear and Naomi moans quietly in her throat. It's a sound that's both sweet and arousing, and she pulls Naomi on top of her, wrapping her legs around Naomi's waist and kissing her until they're both breathless.

God, I love you, she sighs, when Naomi bows her head and kisses the hollow space at the base of Emily's throat.

It's warm when they make love, the sun finally breaking through the clouds, and Naomi's hair is gorgeous in the sunlight, still that familiar bleached blond colour that she had in middle school when Emily first fell for her. She runs her fingers through it, arching up, and Naomi's fingers brush against her through the fabric of her bikini bottoms once, teasingly, before her hand slips inside and she touches Emily properly.

Once they've finished, completely spent, they fall asleep holding hands; when Emily wakes, just before it starts to rain. She thinks, drowsily, about how it's impossible to believe that things are this perfect, before kissing Naomi awake so they can get dressed and go back home, laughing as they run through the rain, the trail muddy.

(Except, things aren't perfect, not really, there's still her family, and she feels a sharp pang of guilt every time she thins about Katie, who's still at home trying to fill the space she left, and James, who she barely even knows, honestly, and her parents, still so unyielding.)

(And it hurts, but that's what it all came down to in the end, making a choice, deciding who she loves more.)

 

;;

 

One night she starts to cry, completely out of the blue, and Naomi doesn't ask questions -- doesn't say anything at all -- just sits there and holds her and kisses away her tears and it almost makes Emily want to cry more, because she shouldn't feel bad, choosing Naomi over Katie, but the truth is, she _does_ , and it's gotten to be too much.

I miss her, she finally says into Naomi's shoulder, when she's calmed down a bit. Naomi rubs her back and kisses the top of her head and just says I know, because, well, she does. Naomi says, You should call her, but Emily just shakes her head and sniffs and mumbles that she can't.

And Naomi understands, doesn't press the issue, because that's just how she is.

 

;;

 

For Emily's birthday that year, Naomi digs out her old school uniform from the depths of their closet. She manages to put it on, even though it's a bit tight around the blouse and blazer now and the skirt's a bit too short and Emily's amazed Naomi even still _has_ it; it still looks remarkably good on her, and when Naomi takes off her cap with a grin and places it Emily's head, Emily reaches forward and pulls her in by her tie, kissing her.

 

;;

 

It happens rather unspectacularly; on a lazy Sunday morning in December, Emily says thoughtfully, It'd be nice, wouldn't it, to be married, and Naomi takes Emily's hand in her own, kisses her palm, says, We could be, you know. In a sense, anyway. And that's how it begins, and suddenly whenever Emily thinks _Naomi_ she also thinks _married_ and _wife_ and _forever_ and it makes her feel ridiculously happy in a way she's not quite accustomed to, even if they haven't actually gone through with it yet.

She almost rings Katie about the news, but decides the better of it in the end, because this is the sort of thing that should be said face-to-face. Emily calls her at home when she knows Katie won't be there to pick up, leaves a message on Katie's answering machine that she's got something important to tell her, and would she be able to come up to London at some weekend in the near future.

 

;;

 

On the morning when Katie's supposed to come into London, they traipse through the snow in the park, like schoolgirls almost. And when Naomi slips on a patch of ice, she wraps her arms around Emily and the two tumble to the ground together. Naomi laughs and says, Your nose is bright red, just before kissing it, then kissing her properly on the mouth.

Her lashes beat like butterflies against Emily's cheeks, as snow gets into her trainers, ice cold and burning against her skin.


End file.
